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I Want To Be Taken Seriously As An Artist (featuring Curt Allen)

from Mental Notes by Worm Quartet

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lyrics

Jimmy had a punk band

They were notorious for fitting the name of a female body part in every song

Their demo tape,"Rape-a-saurus," featured tracks like "Kill The Dutch" and "Suck On My Tumor, Bitch"

They signed to a major

And the kids loved their stuff when they went on tour with New Found Glory

They were carving a new niche, opening doors for raunch rock, and the Meatmen reformed again



But Jimmy started hanging out with Jello Biafra

And Dee Dee Ramone's will bequeathed him all of his drugs

Then he teamed up with Enya and traded his guitar for a lute and a Casio

And put out his new age concept album "Tears of Bin Laden: A Jihad Of Love"



He said "I want to be taken seriously as an artist

"There's more to me than you've ever seen, I'm not limited by your perception

"I want to be taken seriously as an artist"

"I still wear that big spiked strap-on on stage, but as a metaphor for U.S. oppression



Fifi was a pop star

She rocked the headset mic and shook her supposedly natural wink-wink-nudge-nudge "virgin" mombags

The Billboard top 40 was packed with 38 of her tracks and a couple new Tupac songs

With hits like "Let's Not Ruin It By Doin' It" and "I'm Not Ready To Hold Hands Yet"

She had her name on lunchboxes, posters and t-shirts and perfumes and golf balls and pruning shears



Then she decided the world wanted to see the real Fifi

Who was apparently a skin-flashing whore who'd gladly do anyone

She dated Marilyn Manson, dumped him for Madonna, dumped her for the corpse of Curt Cobain

She'd show up on the red carpet, wearing nothing but a thong and two well-placed wads of chewing gum



She said "I want to be taken seriously as an artist

"And you can only achieve true artist status by banging everyone in your respective scene

"I want to be taken seriously as an artist

"I can't be a good girl forever, I mean, my gawd I'm almost 15!"



If I linger 'round too long, will this desire catch up with me?

Will there be "An Evening of Worm Quartet with the London Symphony?"

Will "Worm Quartet Unplugged" be a reality someday?

Will it just be me smacking buttons on my keyboard and bitching that the damned

thing just won't play?



Fifi formed a punk band

Made up of studio musicians with models to play them in her videos

Somehow her fanbase was left behind



Jimmy is a pop star

Shirtless on Seventeen, posing and pouting and singing with his new boy band

Somehow his fanbase was left behind



They said "We want to be taken seriously as artists

"If you don't like our new stuff, then you're not real fans, we never needed you anyway

"We want to be taken seriously as artists

"But in a few years, we'll crawl back to our roots, to make sure we don't fade away

"And we'll see you again someday

"We'll see you again someday

"When our fortunes are pissed away

"In a small club in east L.A.

"Opening for Worm Quartet!"

credits

from Mental Notes, released March 2, 2007

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