you were wrong cabinet sanchez

from Mental Notes by Worm Quartet

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lyrics

You told me you could slice through a horse with your face
You claimed that you could see through solid pork
You said you could communicate telepathically with waffles
You told me you impregnated a spork
But you were wrong
You were wrong
I checked your story on the Internet, it didn't take too long
To analyze the lies that you did spew
And confidently prove that you
Were wrong, Cabinet Sanchez, you were wrong

You said Bisquick was used as currency in Abu Dhabi
You told me you ate Sandy Duncan's eye ("Eye! Eye! Eye!")
You said you could tell the capacity of a hard drive by the odor
You told me smoking plankton makes you high
But you were wrong
You were wrong
Though you did convince some losers to put sea life in their bong
I've found that everything you say you do
Just drives home the point that you
Were wrong, Cabinet Sanchez, you were wrong

When ever you proceed to o-
-pen up your stinkin' yap
The flies nearby just multiply
Cuz they can smell the crap

And every single syllable
You utter seems to be
Just such pure fiction, it must have been
Extracted rectally

You told me sentient cumberbuns once tried to eat your nipples
You said you joined an Olympic drooling team
You told me you once shared a urinal with three Ghostbusters
And destroyed the bathroom when you crossed the streams

But you were wrong
You were wrong
And now your fictional adventures are immortalized in song
And I hope I make a buck or two
From this tune about how you
Were wrong, Cabinet Sanchez, you were wrong

Yeah, every time you claimed that you
Played strip Pac-Man with the Who
Drank a quart of Selson Blue
Had hot sex with Pikachu
Made a bee and mayonnaise stew
Saw the pope do number two
Caaaabinet Sanchez you were
Caaaabinet Sanchez you were
Wrong, Cabinet Sanchez, you were WRONG!
(And your name is stupid.)